Are you a proud parent of a little toddler or a little one? Maybe you’ve been blessed with “multiple bundles of joy.” As much as I cherish my daughter and feel grateful, parenting is hard work. Perhaps you can relate to the struggle of getting your child ready and out the door. When both parents work full-time and commute, managing the morning routine can be quite a challenge. Those precious twenty minutes to get everyone ready are far from wasted—they’re a whirlwind of coordination and love. On your mark, get set, rant!
7:00 AM- Wake up!
I hear a commotion outside my door…the creak of floorboards and the door to my bedroom is slightly ajar. No sign yet, but my “Father radar” is instantly alert and ready for action. I managed to grab 5 hours of sleep, but I woke with a slight migraine and familiar soreness and achiness in my joints. Dehydrated or maybe it was the wine? Sadly, I have been awake since 6:30 AM full of anxiety. I am just getting too old. Raising a child in your mid-forties does have its drawbacks. Going to be one of those days!
7:00 AM – Pass the Tylenol
I managed to haul my weary and stiff body out of bed just as my 3-year-old daughter (toddler) came scrambling into the room. The game is on. The twist of blankets and sheets caused me to half jump out of bed, but I managed to keep my balance. Where’s the bottle of Tylenol? Never mind. My daughter gives me a giant hug and is spouting off with incoherent toddler talk. “Daddy, Daddy”, she exclaims with a bright smile on her face. I nod and reply vaguely as I usher her out to the room. I have no time to change right now or go pee…I’m glad I remembered to put on some clothes so I’m not going “Commando” today. My daughter is off and running and I lost track of her in my peripheral vision. No time to play hide and seek! I rub the sleep out of my eyes and begin to chase after her.
7:06 AM – Potty time
It appears that she wet part of the bed since she is still not toilet-trained. Great, this is going to be a close call to the finish line! I tug at the twisted fitted sheet and nearly take out my daughter with a hip check as she clings to me lovingly. No time to wash the sheets. I squeeze my daughter reassuringly and head to the main bathroom….draping the sheet over the bathroom tub. I motion and shout to my daughter, “Time to go potty, sweetheart!” I frantically look in the bathroom vanity for my secret weapon …Oxy Clean. Nowhere to be found. Darn. I run to the other bathroom with a sense of urgency and find it tucked away in the back. My wife must have used it last. I scurry back to the other bathroom and manage to spray a few squirts on the stained sheet and rub the fabric together. I return it to the railing. Mental note: Wash it later!
7:09 AM- Trail of clothes
Amidst the chaos, my daughter gleefully empties her dresser drawer onto the floor. Panic sets in—I urgently announce, “Time for the potty!” With determination, I half-drag her, leaving a trail of clothes and a less-than-pristine diaper in our wake. Not my finest parenting moment, I admit. I deposit her sheepishly, like handling an exotic piece of luggage, and swiftly close the bathroom door. Now, fueled by the promise of freshly brewed coffee, I race downstairs. My wife, equally caffeine-driven, nearly collides with me. Coffee, second only to wine, is the elixir parents can’t survive without. As I anticipate that warm, life-giving liquid coursing through my veins, my naked daughter dashes past me—a successful mission accomplished. Parenthood: where chaos, caffeine, and triumph collide!
7:12 AM – Getting changed
I glance at my flashing clock radio quickly. No time to waste. I snatch her again like a football with one arm before she runs off again….picking up the growing pile of clothes in the hall and from her dresser drawer. No time to be picky about clothes. I clean her with a sanitizing wipe and she struggles to put her shirt on backwards. I help her with the chore as she starts to protest wildly, No Daddy, No!! Toddler tantrum don’t ya know? She collapses to the floor like some rag doll. Okay, spotted pink socks with blue pants don’t match, but I don’t care at this point. I put them on anyway. My wife is signalling me to hurry up from downstairs. I can smell the aroma of coffee and my migraine has subsided to a faint headache. I forgot to brush her teeth!
7:16 AM – Brush her teeth
Balancing my daughter in one arm, I skillfully maneuver the yellow and green plastic turtle stool out the door. This stool is her essential aid, allowing her to reach the sink and tap. Once it’s perfectly positioned beneath the bathroom vanity, I begin brushing her teeth. Suddenly, another shriek escapes her mouth—she insists on doing it herself. In her enthusiasm, she squirts an excessive amount of toothpaste, and a glob lands squarely on her clean shirt. UGGHH! I swiftly smear it off with my finger and dab her shirt with a damp washcloth. The clock ticks—hurry mode engaged!
7:20 AM -I can see the finish line!
I excitedly pronounce that Mommy is waiting for you downstairs. That will get her going! She rushes down the hall and runs into the baby gate leading down the stairs. Great, now she is crying. She pinched her finger so I soothe her and immediately kiss her “boo boo” better. Mommy scrambles up the stairs to the rescue. My daughter points her tiny finger at Daddy accusingly. Now, “I’m in the doghouse”. I release her Kung-Fu grip that binds me and she follows her mother downstairs. I collapse against the wall with fatigue and slight relief. I lift my saggy blue jeans back up to my bulging waistline and swallow my pride. I have a few seconds to spare, but my fatherly duty comes to an end.
Children are a treasure and a beautiful miracle to behold. Although parenting is hard work and chaotic at times, it is the little moments that make it all worthwhile. Twenty minutes of my life may be gone in a flash, but guess what? I would not change it for the world. Happy parenting!
