| Disclaimer | |
|---|---|
| Some information provided on this blog is for general informational or entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. While I strive to provide accurate and up-to-date information, I cannot guarantee the accuracy, completeness, or reliability of the content. Also some products we feature have been independently selected and reviewed by our editorial team. If you make a purchase using the links included, we may earn a commission. Thanks for your support! |
Remember “Tales from the Crypt” or those campy “B” movies? As a “Generation Xer” who grew up in the early 80s, I’m inspired to share some scary, sardonic anecdotes from my over 10 years of working in the IT field. Imagine the dread of calling tech support, the anxiety of explaining your problem, and the feeling of being talked down to like a child. Welcome to the world of a clueless user navigating the labyrinth of tech support. Perhaps you can relate to these “spine-tinglers” as an end user, but they might give you pause the next time you interact with technical computer support.
The Possessed Printer
As a tech analyst, I have a love-hate relationship with wireless MFPs, high-volume photocopiers, and scanners. Almost as problematic as the users themselves. You’ve heard the expression: “A watched pot never boils,” meaning time seems to pass more slowly when you’re anxiously waiting for something to happen. Some end users grow impatient when it comes to printing, so I often get calls about print jobs taking too long. Maybe it’s a “ghost in the machine,” or more likely, the print job is corrupted, and the user is printing a full-color, high-res PDF. Don’t get me started about paper jams! Did you overload the paper tray or forget to add paper? Printing your Aunt Martha’s cookie recipe hardly qualifies as an emergency! Don’t expect me to rush over to solve your printer woes in a timely fashion.
The Cursed Keyboard
Another tale that makes me cringe is the unnecessary turnover of company hardware, including keyboards and mice. I recall one user whose mouse and keyboard were lagging and “spitting” out weird characters all by themselves. He swore his keyboard was cursed and was determined to get a brand-new enhanced ergonomic keyboard with all the bells and whistles. He turned on “sticky keys” under accessibility and selected a different regional keyboard setting. Hence, weird characters started appearing. The mouse lag was due to depleted batteries in his Bluetooth mouse. He also began to think his computer was “haunted” when his cursor started moving around by itself. I had messaged him earlier about taking control of his pc remotely, but he failed to get my message. 👹
The Password Poltergeist
Sometimes the most aggravating and puzzling problems are the recurring ones, like password issues. You know the person, the one who calls tech support almost regularly — their files disappear, and they mysteriously can’t access certain resources anymore. It baffles me how people get jobs with little understanding of computers. Have you recently changed your password? Did you log off or reboot so the changes take effect? You try to explain the importance of using a secure manager and changing their password every 90 days. Most of the time, it goes right over their heads. It’s a head-scratcher, that’s for sure.
The Bandwidth Beast
One issue that irks me is the user complaining about slowdowns or accessing wi-fi on the company network. Sometimes, it is a legitimate concern, but not this time. Once I got a strange, ambiguous call from a user: “My page doesn’t load, and it is really slow loading.” Okay, let’s investigate. Awakened from my nap in the darkness of the server room, I muster sheepishly to the user’s cubicle on the second floor. To his chagrin, I am mortified to find the user streaming a video of the Golf Masters Tournament at Augusta National on his cellphone. He’s a “golf nut” with nothing better to do on a Friday afternoon. On his desktop computer, he is streaming music on Spotify with 30 open tabs on the Chrome browser. I get a dirty look that I am the one to blame for lousy computer bandwidth. I shrug it off and exclaim, “Have you tried turning it off and back on?” I walk away in disbelief.
The Support Call from Hell
As a man of faith, I exercise self-control and patience, but this tech tale defies any logical explanation. There is always one in ten individuals who need “hand-holding,” which tests by ability to remain in control. Usually, it’s the older generation. I recall one instance where setting up multiple screens for a user’s computer was a harrowing hair-raising experience. Despite sending her a flowchart diagram and a tutorial with screenshots, she remained challenged and confused. After 10 minutes of exchanging text messages, she starts using her cellphone capturing all the steps needed to connect her cables to the dock and laptop. I almost “rip out my thinning hair” in frustration, but I keep my cool. After another agonizing 20 minutes, I realized that she was trying to force an HDMI cable into a DisplayPort and had forgotten to plug in the power adapter for the USB-C dock. I close my ticket now with a sigh of relief and classify this one as a PEBCAK error – (Problems Existing Between the Chair and Keyboard).
Not all interactions with IT tech support are scary experiences. Yes, some tech support staff don’t see the light of day and may appear odd and gangly in appearance, but we are human. Honestly, I do not give people a hard time because I know technology is frustrating for many of us. Deep down in the dark recesses of our minds, there is satisfaction in helping others and taking credit for simple computer fixes. Most computer issues are demystified with a simple logical solution. No need to blame it on supernatural forces or some “ghost in the machine.” We are always glad to help. Did you put in a support ticket in our system? 🧟♂️
